Tired of today's pop tribulations? Longing for a simpler time? Considering eschewing men forever and becoming a lesbian, or just interested in what Robbie does when he's alone? Then ask not what Rumours Of Whores can do for you: ask what you can do for Rumours Of Whores.
Rumours Of Whores produce music. We refuse to over-produce, partly because of idealism and partly because we're not very good at it. We combine a deep love of the disturbing with cheap Casio instruments and a broken Roland CR-78 we found in a skip. Dannii flat-out refuses to be in any of our tracks, and we're desperate for Sarah Brightman to do those shouty woah-oh bits like in Go West.
We're inspired by emancipation, sex, cheap 80s disco, shandy and find the idea of Kraftwerk and Sara Noxx making out to be strangely alluring.
£4.99 for our entire catalogue of original tracks*, as listed below.
That's thirty-six tracks, plus a few extra treats, all for £4.99: all as lovely DRM-free MP3s with cover art. Oh, go on, go on etc...
(*Remixes of other artists works are not included due to licensing restrictions, but can be downloaded freely below, as they are released under a Creative Commons license.)
Fifteen Minutes
ROW were impressed by the track 'Fifteen Minutes' by the wonderfully talented Helen Sventitsky, and requested permission to have their wicked way with the root tracks. The result is the ROW Core Mix, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike license.
Long ago, ROW took part in RPM2008. It's 2010, and RPM is still going. Our aim, this year, was to take part with a little more style as you can see here. Most of the RPM2008 tracks ended up as b-sides, with 'Benedict' and 'Cake Me In Vomit' chosen as a thematically-linked double A-side. This year, it was concept album time, and the tracklist below was duly posted off to the RPM guys in plenty of time. The album is a collection of linked tracks, ranging from electro stomp to ambient cool, with liberal use of synthesized marimba and a handful of found sounds. Each track is thematically linked, either musically or stylistically, to the one before, forming a cyclical half-hour of musical intrigue that would happily nestle between afternoon tea and 'Sing Something Simple' on a Sunday afternoon.
'Our Former US Show' and 'Fur User Showroom' are absolute corkers, take it from us. We wouldn't be surprised if they see a single release with a range of intriguing remixes shortly...
1. Usurer's Root Worm (Intro) (1:06)
2. Morrow Fuses Hour (3:48)
3. Our Former US Show (3:24)
4. Fur User Showroom (4:10)
5. Sour Forum Whores (3:27)
6. Rush Row Foursome (4:16)
7. Moose Rush Furrows (4:24)
8. Row Us, Homo Surfer (3:55)
9. Sowers For Humour (3:03)
10. Showers Of Rumour (Outro) (1:48)
The Sun Is Down Remixes
6 tracks / 29:09 total time / 2009
This album contains remixes of Yoko Ono's song 'The Sun Is Down', entered for her 2009 remix competition. The Core Mix was selected as one of the twenty winners. These tracks are released under the Creative Commons License. Everyone is free to share (copy, distribute and transmit) the work, and to remix and adapt the work. These tracks, therefore, are free to be shared, copied, remixed or adapted in any way provided your work is released under the same conditions.
1. The Sun Is Down [ROW Photosphere Mix] (4:18)
2. The Sun Is Down [ROW Chromosphere Mix] (4:20)
3. The Sun Is Down [ROW Core Mix] (3:44)
4. The Sun Is Down [ROW Radiative Mix] (6:32)
5. The Sun Is Down [ROW Convective Mix] (4:13)
6. The Sun Is Down [ROW Corona Mix] (6:03)
ambient2 is Rumours Of Whores' second ambient album. It includes tracks produced from 2009 onwards which fit the ambient theme. More tracks will be added as completed.
If you've not seen George Putnam and his array of perverted props, visit YouTube now and seek him out. Then pay us to hear the extended version. It's worth it, and we promise to spend the money on a new drum machine once we get enough - the CR-78 has about had it..
1. Perversion For Profit (4:05)
2. Perversion For Profit [Extended Version] (5:55)
Hear Perversion For Profit [Extended Version]
Benedict
2 tracks / 7:19 total time / 2007
Rumours Of Whores dislike organised religion, and feel that moral systems have no place in a world where a system of ethics needs no god to keep tab of who's been naughty and who's been nice. Ratzinger gets on everyone's nerves, but ROW's in particular. We cut the x-rated verse from Benedict, but followed it up with our version of the wonderful Exorcist film. ROW adore Mike Oldfield, but even he would have to agree that 'Cake Me In Vomit' would go wonderfully over the end credits.
1. Benedict (3:46)
2. Cake Me In Vomit (3:34)
Hear
Benedict
ambient1
9 tracks / 37:17 total time / 2007 - 2009
ambient1 shows Rumours Of Whores' experimental side. Inspiration from Jean Michel Jarre and Vangelis nestle alongside figments of Alan Lamb and Kraftwerk. Laurie Anderson might like ambient.aviation, and Sven Väth may well get all nostalgic over ambient.invention as he considers his 1992 album, An Accident In Paradise. Alternately, they might all simply shake their heads and trundle off to enjoy ambient.drone in all its minimalist glory. It includes tracks released from 2007 through to 2009.
Burning Rubber is a tale of hedonistic euro-travel; it's your gap year with a cheap train ticket and a pair of trainers that just aren't going to last. It's a Citroen Dolly, hurtling through the Swedish countryside on the wrong side of the road. It should have been played over the Eurotrash credits whilst Antoine de Caunes fawned over Jean-Paul. Spot the penis on the CD cover and win a prize. (Prize consists of free view of highly obscured penis...)
Schizophrenic is altogether more serious, subject and synth-wise; a slice of chunky EBM, which somehow got mixed up with a few Laurie Anderson samples and some BT-style hacked-together granular synth audio units. ROW are pleased.
Our first foray into the commercial world, back when we had a slight obsession with those 80s song names full of brackets. A friend of a friend promised us Dannii Minogue for the backing vocals, and a friend of a friend of a friend spotted her in Waitrose, although by the time we got there with a mike and a DAT recorder she'd checked out and buggered off. Sarah Brightman refused to take our calls, and we even tried Toni Basil for a while until someone told us she didn't do that kind of thing any more and intimated that she was working in a shoe shop in Cheshire.
However: ROW do not give up; we recorded it ourselves and released it to critical silence way back in 2006. In addition to the 80s brackets, we felt that Chris and Neil deserved a slight orchestral tribute, so we spliced a few strings into the middle of Come (And Be A Lesbian), à la 'Left To My Own Devices'. Spliced in a nice way, that is, not a naughty Bioshock kind of way...
1. So Excited (I Could Vomit) [Dirty Bitch Radio Edit] (3:27)
2. Come (And Be A Lesbian) (3:43)
3. So Excited (I Could Vomit) [80s Techno Mix] (3:20)
4. Come (And Be A Lesbian) [Tribadism Mix] (4:12)
Hear So Excited (I Could Vomit) [Dirty Bitch Radio Edit]